Tag Archives: dating

These Introverts and Extroverts Sound Off on the Struggles They Face Dating One Another

09 Monday Nov 2015

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Originally published on Mic.com

Kirstin* and her boyfriend Eric had already had two busy weekends in a row when Eric surprised Kirstin with the news they’d be going to his coworker’s home to hang out later that night. On the way, he also revealed that his coworker had two children under the age of 5. Kirstin was not happy.

“I was exhausted, I’m not a fan of children and I was pretty bad company… it was a stressful night,” Kirstin, 27, told Mic.

If you’re an introvert like Kristin, you’re probably nodding your head in agreement. Last-minute plans to spend time with people you don’t know? Not exactly a fun Friday night. But if you’re an extrovert, you probably see Eric’s side: What’s so bad about spending an evening catching up with pleasant people?

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Is Silicon Valley The Best Place To Be A Single Woman In America?

13 Sunday Sep 2015

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On a Friday night in downtown Palo Alto — just a stone’s throw from Stanford University, office buildings and the technology hub of San Jose — the college bars and vegan restaurants lining its streets teemed with single men. But at Nola, a Creole-themed bar with notoriously bad service, Erika, 25, wasn’t having much luck meeting single guys.

“I ordered my drink, and my girlfriend and I threw out glances and smiles to many men we were interested in. However, none of the maybe 30 men surrounding us were eager to start a conversation,” Erika, who lives in nearby San Jose, told Mic. “I would come up to them directly, only to languish in their lack of conversation skills.”

In most urban areas like New York City, Philadelphia and Washington D.C., where single women handily outnumber men, such a scene would be wholly unfamiliar. But it’s par for the course in the sunny suburban sprawl of San Jose and the surrounding Bay Area cities, home to technology giants like Facebook, Google and Cisco, where college-educated single men outnumber women.

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There’s Good News for People Who Still Use Phones the Old-Fashioned Way

23 Tuesday Jun 2015

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Waiting anxiously by the phone isn’t what it used to be.

The stereotype of a girl waiting by the phone for her crush to call has turned into prayers that our phones won’t ring because talking on the phone is awkward and feels bizarrely invasive. In 2012, a Pew Research Center study found that just 26% of teens talk to friends on their cellphones.

But while texting has gotten us to trade answering machines for emojis, when it comes to maintaining a spark, there are still couples out there picking up their smartphones to talk — which is clearly the smart thing to do.

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The Most Underrated Part of Your Relationship? Your Best Friend

23 Tuesday Jun 2015

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When Deborah, 27, was in labor, her husband was by her side for emotional support. But during a particularly painful moment, it was her best friend, Christina, who jumped into the hospital bed with her and held her.

“No questions asked, no words spoken. She knew exactly what I needed in that moment and was there to provide it,” Deborah told Mic.

It’s an extreme example of something many of us know but don’t say as freely these days. Our modern expectations for romantic relationships are that they are everything — that our significant other is our cheerleader, our biggest fan, our teammate and, as Bachelor and Bachelorette finales like to remind us, our best friend.

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13 Women With the Perfect Responses to Why They’re Still Single

16 Thursday Apr 2015

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Originally published on Mic.com – please click over to see the graphics!

If there is one thing all single women know, it’s that nothing ruins your day faster than the question, “So why aren’t you dating anyone?”

More people today are single than ever before: According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, just over half of American adults are unmarried. And in 2006, the Pew Research Center found that among singles, 55% say they are neither cohabiting nor looking for a relationship. Despite what conventional wisdom might say, those singles are doing pretty well: Recent research — and plenty of anecdotal evidence — has shown that unmarried people with solid social support are just as satisfied as married people.

But that shouldn’t even matter. Some single women would love to be in a relationship, while some are totally happy to remain unattached. Either way, women who happen to be single shouldn’t face the stigmas they do. The only person who gets to pressure and question a woman about her love life is the woman herself.

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9 Things All People in Long-Distance Relationships Know to Be True

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

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Leah, 25, from Arizona, was hesitant when she first began developing feelings for Stephen, a 22-year-old from Northern Ireland she met on the photo-sharing app Fling. Long-distance relationships are hard, she knew, and she worried that she would hold him back in his everyday life. But they decided to give it a try, and six months later, they’re still going strong.

Online dating and tools like FaceTime and Skype, not to mention a tough job market that forces people to move more, have made long-distance relationships more common than ever. The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that 3.6 million married Americans are living apart (a 40% increase since 1999), and the former Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships puts the number of college students in LDRs at 4.4 million.

For couples like Leah and Stephen, it can really work. “The biggest positive surprise has been that we have made this work for so long already,” Leah told Mic, “and that I have discovered what love really is.”

It sounds cheesy, but it’s true: The challenges of LDRs end up revealing what really matters in a relationship, long-distance or otherwise. Here are the things you learn after living with your love hundreds of miles away.

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9 Pieces of Dating “Advice” That Are Actually Bullshit

24 Tuesday Feb 2015

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Originally published on Mic.com

If you’ve been single and ready to mingle for any length of time, you’ve probably picked up bits of “advice,” all of which add up to a confusing, outdated set of guidelines that tell us what to say and do (or not) in order to land a spouse (the assumed goal, of course). 

How long should you wait to text him back? Four hours minimum. When can you sleep together? After no fewer than three dates. Should you move in together? Of course not — why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?

This advice has never really been proven, of course, yet somehow we still hear it from parents, grandparents, friends and even ourselves in moments of self-doubt. The truisms have been so bought into that many have been immortalized into a book called (what else?) The Rules.

These platitudes are more than annoying to hear — they’re harmful and deeply offensive. They not only put the blame on single people, but they also assume men and women play different roles in this game called love (not to mention that dating is only happening between men and women). But it’s 2015. We know better. It’s time to kill these nine “rules” once and for all.

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One Surprisingly Intimate Way To Know You’re With the Right Person

12 Thursday Feb 2015

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Do you hold hands?

You may have already kissed that special someone, indulged in a couch makeout session, and even had sex; but the thrill of holding hands is as real and more important than any other type of physical intimacy.

We often view sex as the height of physical intimacy, so it seems counterintuitive that the innocent act of holding hands could be so emotionally charged. But in today’s dating era, holding hands feels more intimate than ever. And if you find yourself wanting to reach out and grab your date’s hand, that could be a sign that this relationship is the real deal.

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